


Mercenary

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [175]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Established, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-12
Updated: 2015-02-12
Packaged: 2018-03-12 02:24:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3340076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where the Avengers meet Clint the mercenary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mercenary

"That was…" 

"Was that…?"

"I think it was." 

"But that’s…"

"I know."

The Avengers stared at each other as the elevator doors closed with Phil in it, taking his husband, Clint Barton, world infamous mercenary, with him. They didn’t move, continued to just blankly stare at each other then at the elevator doors.

"I thought he died in a car accident?" Tony asked.

"I heard he was shot in the head by a mafia boss." Bruce countered.

"Someone told me he was pushed into an active volcano." Steve frowned.

"I read in a confidential file that he was drowned in the Atlantic." Natasha crossed her arms over her chest.

"Which confidential file?" Tony turned to her.

"Confidential means Do not tell Tony, Tony." Natasha rolled her eyes at him.

"Pretty sure-" Natasha sent him the stink eye and he raised his hands in surrender. "Okay. Shutting up."

"If he has conquered all of these trials, then he is indeed a valuable warrior." Thor looked impressed.

"That. or he faked his death." Bruce pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose. "well,  _deaths._ " 

"Do you think Phil knows?" Steve asked them.

"I’m sure he knows." Tony waved him off.

"How can you be sure?"

"Come on. It’s Phil! He knows practically everything. It’s his thing. Right?" Tony turned to Bruce who avoided his stare. "Right?" Then to Thor who just grinned at him. "Right?" To Steve’s disapproving look. " _Right?!”_ And to Natasha’s blank stare. “Okay. We gotta tell Phil.”

—-

"That’s stupid."

"Natasha." Steve chastised. "You can’t just tell people that their ideas are… stupid." Steve paused for a moment as if he just sucked on a lemon. "Even if they are… less practical. How exactly is a hot air balloon going to help with letting Phil know that his husband is a cold blooded mercenary." 

"It adds to the mood." Tony shrugged.

"What kind of mood are you trying to create, exactly?" Bruce raised an eyebrow at him.

"The kind of mood where Coulson won’t hear what we have to say and end up killing us." 

Thor ran his thumb on his chin thoughtfully. “I have heard of great many tales from the Lady Darcy of the Son of Coul’s conquests. It is most entertaining. It would be an honorable death.”

Tony stared at him for a second before turning to Natasha. “Like what?”

"I heard he managed to subdue someone using only a paperclip once." Natasha answered with an impressed smirk.

"Technically, I used the paperclip to detonate a bomb and leave the suspect weaponless." Phil said from behind the couch. The Avengers all turned, surprised by his sudden appearance. "What are you all doing?"

"Movie Night!" Steve said at the same time Tony said, "Strategic Meeting!"

They both looked at each other and switched answers. Natasha facepalmed, Bruce shook his head in embarrassment and Thor was hiding a laugh with a cough.

"We were… having a Strategic meeting while doing…. Movie night." Steve told Phil but it sounded more like a question than anything.

"Yeah. That. We were doing that. That sounds believable." Steve’s elbow connects to Tony’s side, making the genius yelp.

Coulson frowned suspiciously at all of them. “If you save lives as good as you lie, I fear for the sake of the world. Luckily, you’re much better superheroes.”

"We were trying to figure out how to tell you that your husband works as a mercenary for hire." Natasha told him, completely unperturbed by her team mates’ shocked faces.

"Oh, Clint? As far as the underground community goes, he’s dead." Phil told them without so much as a pause.

"Wait, you knew?" Bruce asked him.

"Well, yeah. He’s my husband. We don’t keep secrets about ourselves from each other. Why do you think he quit that lifestyle anyway?"

"You mean to tell us that Hawkeye, World’s greatest marksman, never misses his target, infamous mercenary wanted by the world’s top Security agencies and the underground’s most dangerous people, quit being a mercenary because he got married?" Tony was waving his arms in a flurry of gestures.

Phil paused for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. That’s pretty much it."

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/110824803386/i-spent-money-i-was-supposed-to-use-for-food-to)


End file.
